Karma and Hope Failing
by Unnoticed Observer
Summary: Many continue fighting but there are a few who succumb to eternal rests' call. One wants to die and another volunteers to do the task yet has second thoughts. Warning: Slight Yaoi, a little OOCness and character death.


Unnoticed: Umm… Hi? Well… This is my first Yu-Gi-Oh Story… So please be nice! I am really nervous…

I can't believe this is so angsty. :twitch: This was written when I felt all moody and this plot bunny met my mood monster and that is never a good thing.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Though this might be confusing... But I decided I like it this way. Just review if you want to point out the wrong things I did. I won't mind... as long as it's an illogical flame.

If I own Yu-Gi-Oh... Yami wouldn't have left Yugi in the series… And since the entire opposite happened, I don't think I own Yu-Gi-Oh... :sulks in a corner:

Well, I'm thinking on letting you guys figure out who's POV this is. Though… I think it's obvious…

Warning: Slightly yaoi, character death and slight OOCness

Started Writing In: April 5, 2010

Posted In: April 25, 2010

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"_Pain is inevitable, Suffering is optional" - Anonymous_

"I'm scared…"

That soft whisper made my whole body shake with vehemence. I gulped a mouthful of saliva and tried to clear my thoughts.

"I thought you wanted this…" I told him, my voice as soft as his whisper.

"Yes… I still do."

"Then, why are you scared?"

"I'm not sure… There are just so many questions inside my head right now… Will it hurt? Will I go to some place nice or some place horrid? Will the pain really go away? Will I be truly free?"

It pained me to hear those questions, to see the sorrow in his eyes, to feel the coolness of the black vile thing in my hand.

"Why are you even doing this?" His beautiful eyes are now hidden by his bangs. His pale lips are turned into a frown that has been plastered on his face for far too long.

"You wanted to…"

"Yes, but I can do it on my own. You need not be burdened."

"I wanted to make it up to you… To grant you your wishes… To fulfill your requests…"

A bitter laugh came and I winced at the sound I was so unfamiliar with. I mourned for the loss of the childish happiness in that laugh and was horrified by the dark emotions that replaced the once positive tone. I felt my whole body tremble and my hands started to shake.

He looked at me and his eyes held a gleam I have never seen before. It was a kind of gleam that screamed he was amused in a twisted way.

"I never told you personally that I wanted this… You just heard me talking to myself about this last week…"

"I… I just wanted to do something for you… To listen to your silent wishes…"

"A bit too late, isn't it? Pharaoh." He spoke in a cold tone that made a fresh set of tears come and threatened to fall. I cursed myself. Haven't I cried enough?! If only I had the power to turn back time… I could have beat myself up and stopped things from happening. Or erase the painful memories.

But I have no such power and…

That would only be vainly running away from my faults…

"I'm sorry…" I whispered hoarsely.

"It's far too late for that…"

"Is it really?"

Yes, was it really far too late? Maybe, I could still fix things! Maybe, with some struggles and help… he will be healed!!!

Why didn't I think before I volunteered to do this? This is just a stupid idea! I don't need to do this! I can't believe I decided I will do this! I don't need to act on a whim!!! He will be all right! Everything will be okay! I don't need to do this! He doesn't need this!!

He closed his eyes and gave a tired sigh. He opened his mouth and spoke in a dead tone.

"There are things that can never be forgiven and there are wounds that can never be healed. These scars will never be erased."

My glimmer of hope vanished. He was far too tired. He was far too broken, too shattered. He has given up in this game called Life.

"Maybe we can still fix things! We'll be able to smile again in the near future! Everything will change for the better! We'll stay with you! You will heal!" I screamed at him in desperation.

"STOP! Just… stop… Don't give me any more false hopes," Melancholy eyes stared at me and filled my soul with pain.

"I just want to help you," I whispered. I stared back at those beautiful eyes.

I continued my desperate attempt to coax him into fighting again. "Are you really just going to give up?"

He hid his eyes with his bangs. He didn't answer.

"Will you just give up?"

"I… don't want to…"

"Go on…" I urged him gently. I felt the hope I lost coming back…

"I… don't want… to fight…"

I gasped and the hope quickly disappeared as quickly as it returned.

"But you can't just give up!!! Didn't you used to say that? Everything will be all right!!! You've recovered enough to be free out of that hospital! If we keep going just a little more… you'll be happy again."

"Stop it! Just let me be!"

'No! I won't let you give up!" I shouted at him.

"I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT ANYMORE! OKAY?! EVERYTIME I STRUGGLE, EVERYTIME I FIGHT AND EVERY DAMN TIME I FINALLY SEE SOME LIGHT IN MY LIFE, SOMETHING ALWAYS GOES HORRIBLY WRONG!!! AND THEN I'M BACK TO SQUARE ONE!!!!"

I stared at him as he struggled to catch his breath. He looks at me desperately and whispers softly. "To be honest… I think everything I've done is Sisyphean…"

I took a deep shuddering breath and I felt some tears of frustration leak out. Of course it wouldn't be that easy. If it was I shouldn't have heard him wishing for his demise. This isn't just some game! This isn't just some wound that you can heal with a band-aid and kiss the pain away! This is so much more than that! Why didn't I realized that sooner?

Why? Why was I so heartless? Why did I let myself forget my morals? Why was I so fascinated about having a body that I forgot the reason why I wanted one? Why did we, his so-called friends, turned so vile, so mean, so horrid? Why did we inflicted pain on the person we vowed to protect the most? Why did we become like the people we promised to shield him from? Why did everything become so wrong, so out of control, so damaged beyond repair? Why?!?

"Please, just please, pull the trigger."

My hands shook and the tears I fiercely held back finally won their escape. I took deep breaths and steadied myself. I pointed the gun to him.

"Just do it now… Have mercy."

I closed my eyes in order to shield me from that desperate, melancholy and slightly insane gaze. My composure disappeared and refused to come back. Dozens of thoughts and memories flash in my mind. Things I thought I have forgotten but showed itself quite clearly. I remembered his smiles, his laughter and his loving words. I realized something… And then I knew what to do…

I sighed and slowly…

Slowly lowered the gun and letting my hands got to my side.

"No… I refuse…" I calmly told him.

"WHY?!?" An enraged scream bombarded my hearing.

"I don't want to lose you… You are special to me… I love you… I don't think you should die… Please, let's just… forget about this… suicidal thoughts… Let us… No… Let me heal you."

I pleaded to him. I was desperate… I was hoping against hope that he will see reason and agree. I hoped that I will be able to see that happy smile once more.

"YOU SELFISH BASTARD!"

I gasped and opened my eyes. Every fiber of my being screamed at me to close my eyes. My heart begged me to at least look away. But to my horror… my mind continued to drink up the scene in front of me like some cruel and unconscious way of masochism.

His hands were fisted. His lithe body was trembling from… Anger? Frustration? Desperation? Disappointment? It was hard to tell by just looking at his body.

But his face… It was what nailed me to look, to stare and to observe.

His beautiful face showed me his anger. His mouth was set in a half-scowl and half-snarl way, His eyebrows were scrunched up together. And his eyes held wrath, desperation and insanity. I was terribly frightened about those emotions in his eyes. It showed just how much the pain affected him.

I was filled with an odd sense of déjà vu. This was the same face he gave me when I found him, after Bakura (of all people) snapped me out of it. He was black and blue because of my mindless actions. And I was just as frozen… I was wondering why I did it and slightly denying everything I have done and everything that had happened. But Bakura's voice kept repeating in my head.

_**"The way you are makes me sick. You are a fucking sick and horrible fool…"**_

And now history repeated itself… except at that time…

There were no tears…

But now…

Now… Wretched yet beautiful and pure crystalline droplets are flowing freely down his pale cheeks.

"Let me go… Please, just let me die!" Sobs filled the air and the once calm young man disappeared and in it's place is a pained and broken soul.

I felt at loss on what to do… But I hardened my resolve and like some horrible master denying his slave what he wanted, I coldly told him that I wouldn't allow him to die.

"No…"

"DAMN IT YAMI! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IT THEN I'LL DO IT MYSELF!!!"

His scream startled me and with astonishing strength and agile speed he tackled me to the ground. He forcefully took the gun from my hand.

I briefly wondered where he got that strength and speed from but I was too horrified and too shocked to dwell on it as he pointed the gun near his temple.

"YUGI!! NO!!!"

He stared at me and suddenly, he… smiled.

He pulled the trigger. And the flutter of wings made by the many birds living in the forest soon followed the gunshot.

I was quiet for a moment, too horrified and too stunned. And then I screamed. I went to where his body lay and held him in my arms.. I didn't care if his blood stained my clothes and coated my skin.

I looked at his eyes, it's light slowly and agonizingly fading.

I feared the coldness and the clamminess of his hands.

Everything I took notice scared and frustrated me. Because it screamed, shrieked and shouted that Yugi is now dead and there is nothing I could do about it.

I sobbed and knew it was all my fault.

I was the reason behind it all. I was the mastermind. I was the driving force. I was the one who started it all.

I was repulsed at myself. The only thing I could do was cry and cradle his hollow shell back and forth and back and forth. I chanted his name hoping that by repeatedly saying it will bring him back.

Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi

Soon, I saw the sky turn a light violet mixed with a slight green. The sun is now rising… And Yugi was still in my arms, not breathing, not moving, and… so cold.

And then it finally truly hit me…

He is dead… He is gone…

I won't be able to see his amethyst gems light up and take my breath away. I won't be able to hear his laughter and let myself be filled with euphoria by that heavenly tone. I won't be able to feel his warmth when the nights just become to lonely to bear… All I have are memories… and I won't be able to experience those wonderful things again…

He is gone…

Gone…

Gone…

OH RA!!! MY AIBOU!!! MY KOI!!! MY HIKARI!!!

HE IS GONE!!! MY HIKARI IS GONE!!!

"_Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal."- Carved in a headstone in Ireland._

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Words: 1,901 (Without the qoutes)

Unnoticed: That was scary… and angsty! Darn, I need my mood checked. This is my longest one-shot… for now… :evil grin: Wait… why is that evil? Never mind…

Many thanks, hugs and kisses to my best friend, bluesapphire19!!! She worked so hard to find me the quotes I needed and was able to stand my hyper and fan girl mode!! She is so awesome!!

So… how was it? Was it okay? Did I do something wrong?

Please review!!! I'd love it if you do!

Reviews are treasured and loved. Flames are allowed but not welcome. Constructive criticism is admired and appreciated.

_ The End… Good Night… _


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